Stupid Panda
by My Dictator Level is Over 9000
Summary: Perry discusses his experience in Meapless In Seattle. Contains spoilers for the episode. Rated T.


**Authors Note: It. Is. Finished! Seriously…I've been watching Meapless in Seattle for over an hour…Hope you like it. Two oneshots in one day. I am back! Mwahahahaha! And thank you veryloyalfan for the help and the title! This was only supposed to be 300 words and its 1,449... **

**NattyMc feels accomplished, PEACE!**

Stupid Panda:

Ok what the heck? This was the 2nd time that my nemesis has been transformed into looking better than he already was, _this_ season. And I don't care that I just broke the fourth wall. That is not my main concern right now.

Now I have to admit, when the scientist was transformed the first time; I did think he was handsome. But so did everyone else in the town.

And now my nemesis had been transformed into some type of weird Japanese character or something- A chibi? Is that what it's called? Whatever, - with huge eyes.

Seriously, his eyes were fricken huge.

Back to the main topic here; I like Doofenshmirtz just the way he is.

The doctor was amazing just the way he was. He could do amazing things just the way he was. Doof could build incredible inventions in less than an hour or so and even when they blew up in his face he continued to make them, every day. No matter how many times he got punched or kicked in the face on a regular basis.

It doesn't matter what the whole town thinks OR what some stupid alien thinks.

_I_ love Doofenshmirtz' appearance. _I_ love everything about the doctor, from his lab coat to his messy brown hair to his high pitched voice and thick German accent to his eyes. His lovely turquoise eyes.

Which were now too huge; and now the man was short, even shorter than both him and Peter.

Ugh, Peter. Stupid Panda.

Perry was mad at the doctor for coming here to meet this panda of course, why wouldn't he be? He was just about to demand an explanation and pummel the tiny idiot when a tall alien slid down and I pushed Peter and myself out of the way. Stupid Panda.

"At last the Cutonium is- oh no! Empty?"

"Hey dude!" His tiny nemesis squeaked "You're standing on my lab coat!"

"Oh no! No, no, no! Did you actually drink the Cutonium?"

"Oh is THAT what that was? I totally cannot recommend it."

"Well you're cute alright, but you should have become completely irresistible…How homely were you before?"

"Hey I know you! You're that Mitch guy from space! Put me down, you best friend stealer!" Doofenshmirtz flailed.

"Well, I suppose one container of Cutonium is as good as any other…Wanna go for a ride?" Mitch cooed "Won't that be fun, yes it will! Destroy them!"

"Wow you're strict"

The two robots attacked and Peter and I fought them head on. Sometime later the robots retreated and so did the spaceship.

Now Peter and I had no choice but to go after Mitch and save Doofenshmirtz. Soon we took to the skies in his craft and were off. The ride was silent and awkward; he didn't even bother to make conversation with me.

Stupid Panda.

Soon we found the tiny scientist and caught him in a metal hand that was a part of Peter's ship.

_Peter and Perry!_

Wait why did his name come first?

Stupid Panda.

"Nice try but the mustache thing was still weirder"

Mustache? What was he talking about? But I didn't get an answer because a tractor beam shot out and nabbed Doofenshmirtz away from us. The spaceship flew off into the sky with my nemesis once more. Dangit! Sorry, didn't mean to go all street there. Now what were we gonna do? I knew it wasn't the end of the world but how come at that exact moment it felt like an entire adorable little army was going to war? It was a weird feeling.

…

After another ride in awkward silence we arrived at a planet. Peter's ship docked next to the wall of a building and we slid out. I attached a round orange and blue disk to the wall. It immediately started blinking and melted a hole in the wall, I jumped through the hole landing in a crouch.

Soon we found Doof and he was back to normal, strapped to a table.

"Peter the Panda? And Perry the Platypus? You're working together to rescue _me_? Oh that's really nice of you. I- Uh oh. Hey guys a little help here…"

Peter pulled the table back and it slammed the robots into a nearby wall. Soon tons of robots were flying towards us.

"This is some rescue"

We all started to run for our lives- wait. Did Doofenshmirtz say Peter's name first?

Stupid Panda.

…

"I just realized something about myself" Doofenshmirtz huffed as we continued to run "Apparently I run _faster _than a panda bear, but not _quite_ as fast as a platypus. Who knew? You really do learn things about yourselves in times of crisis. Wait turn left up here! That door must be the way out"

The door opened and standing there clad in metal armor and a double sided spear was-

"Balloony it's you! Oh boy am I glad to see you!" The scientist walked up to it "Chill guys" He told us "Balloony and I go way back. So Balloony it's a good thing that-ah!" The balloon slammed the spear down into the ground, barely missing the doctor "Well it's been nice catching up but-RUN!" Doofenshmirtz screamed and started to run "I think I misjudged his devotion!"

…

Balloony blasted at the scientist and hit the shield Doof held up to protect himself while the robots held me and Peter down.

"Balloony help me! Balloony, oh don't let me go like I did with you! Balloony!" The scientist pleaded "What ever happened to us?" He began to sob.

Just when it was looking to be too late, the balloon grabbed the robots and destroyed them.

"Balloony!" The balloon threw Heinz over its shoulder and began destroying robots rapidly with each swing of the arm "I knew deep down inside you were still my best friend!"

Oh great, now I was being replaced by a balloon. Do I even need to be here?

"Think of all the good times we can have now that we- Nooooo!"

A robot blasted and popped the balloon. The robotic suit fell to its knees

"Balloony! Stay with me!"

Peter and I casted sad glances at each other.

"I'm not gonna let you go a second time! Balloony! I can hear my heart…popping"

This was sad, but why did I get the feeling that my owner had just struck out? *Sigh* That poor oblivious boy…

…

I walked through the front door of my nemesis' apartment to find him sitting on a recliner.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus. I'm so sorry there's nothing to foil, I'm still down about- Balloony!" Doofenshmirtz got up with glee when I showed him the intact balloon.

Seeing Doofenshmirtz so happy about having his balloon back made me happy as well. That's when I realized, I haven't been fair. If my nemesis was happy then I was happy…

Ok now why do I get the feeling that there's some creepy slideshow of pictures going on?

Never mind, that didn't matter now. I had to give someone an apology.

…

Peter and I ate at a restaurant in Seattle, we had made up and were having a decent conversation. Everything was right with the world, that is…until Doofenshmirtz was all of a sudden pressed up against the window behind us in a basket holding Ballooney. And if that wasn't unexpected enough, Peter ditched me and walked out on the check.

…

That.

Stupid.

Panda.


End file.
